Showing posts with label American poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label American poetry. Show all posts

09/06/2023

Linda Gregg : 30 Poems

 








The Presence In Absence

 
Poetry is not made of words.
I can say it's January when
it's August. I can say, "The scent
of wisteria on the second floor
of my grandmother's house
with the door open onto the porch
in Petaluma," while I'm living
an hour's drive from the Mexican
border town of Ojinaga.
It is possible to be with someone
who is gone. Like the silence which
continues here in the desert while
the night train passes through Marfa
louder and louder, like the dogs whining
and barking after the train is gone.





Marriage and Midsummer’s Night
 
 
It has been a long time now
since I stood in our dark room looking
across the court at my husband in her apartment.
Watched them make love.
She was perhaps more beautiful
from where I stood than to him.
I can say it now: She was like a vase
lit the way milky glass is lighted.
He looked more beautiful there
than I remember him the times
he entered my bed with the light behind.
It has been ten years since I sat
at the open window, my legs over the edge
and the knife close like a discarded idea.
Looked up at the Danish night,
that pale, pale sky where the birds that fly
at dawn flew on those days all night long,
black with the light behind. They were caught
by their instincts, unable to end their flight.




It Is the Rising I Love
 

As long as I struggle to float above the ground
and fail, there is reason for this poetry.
On the stone back of Ludovici’s throne, Venus
is rising from the water. Her face and arms
are raised, and the two women trained in the ways
of the world help her rise, covering her
nakedness with a cloth at the same time.
It is the rising I love, from no matter what element
to the one above. She from water to land,
me from earth to air as if I had a soul.
Helped by prayers and not by women, I say
(ascending in all my sexual glamour), see my body
bathed in light and air. See me rise like a flame,
like the sun, moon, stars, birds, wind. In light.
In dark. But I never achieve it. I get on my knees
this gray April to see if open crocuses have a smell.
I must live in the suffering and desire of what
rises and falls. The terrible blind grinding
of gears against our bodies and lives.

 

 



The Color of Many Deer Running
 

The air fresh, as it has been for days.
Upper sky lavender. Deer on the far hill.
The farm woman said they would be gone
when I got there as I started down the lane.
Jumped the stream. Went under great eucalyptus
where the ground was stamped bare by two bulls
who watched from the other side of their field.
The young deer were playing as the old ate
or guarded. Then all were gone, leaping.
Except one looking down from the top.
The ending made me glad. I turned toward
the red sky and ran back to the farm,
the man, the woman, and the young calves.
Thinking that as I grow older I will lose
my color. Will turn tan and gray like the deer.




I Thought on His Desire for Three Days
 

“I draw circles around me and holy boundaries” – Nietzsche
 

I chose this man, consciously, deliberately.
I thought on his desire for three days
and then said yes. In return, it was summer.
We lay on the grass in the dark and he placed
his hand on my stomach while the others
sang quietly. It was prodigious to know
his eagerness. It made me smile calmly.
That was the merging of opposite powers.
He followed me everywhere, from room to room.
Every single thing was joyous: storms, meals,
the story about the face that was the world.
There was the sound of Chicago buses stopping
near my house according to winter, summer,
raining. Shadows moved over the floor
as the sun went across the sky. I was a secret
there because you were married. I am here
to tell you I did not mind. Existence
was more valuable than that. When I was
a very young woman. I wrote: A new spirit/
I have a new spirit/I made it myself/I dance
now alone before the mirror/There is a flower.
The leaves are a little sad/No light comes
out of the black part/with its five purple
dots of color/near the center/Oh, my dead thing/
I have a new spirit/I made it myself. In Chicago,
a police siren ran through my heart even though
it was not for me. I was strong, I knew where
I was. I knew what I had achieved. When the wife
called and said I was a whore, I was quiet,
but inside I said, “perhaps.” It has been raining
all night. Summer rain. The liveliness of it keeps
me awake. I am so happy to have lived.




A Bracelet of Bright Hair About The Bone
 


The Romans put skulls into their love poems.
Skeletons and dry bones along with love.
As if violet was only beautiful against
something black. We also talked of death,
I perhaps more than you. It made me happy
to think of the newly dead body being lowered
into the coffin of the other. You found
this idea impressive but terrible.
I longed for your agreement and approval.
Wanted you to understand the hugeness of love.
You whispered that our bones would be mixed
together, but probably it was your way
to get me to stop crying and go to sleep.
Which I did, contentedly. I wanted something
to be done, some enactment to prove this secret,
this illicit love. Something too large.
I wanted it made of actual things. Dirt
and corpses even. As real as the table you
said your love was, that I could sit down to
and eat from if I wanted something permanent.
I wanted absoluteness to be made of my heart.





Let Birds
 
 
Eight deer on the slope
in the summer morning mist.
The night sky blue.
Me like a mare let out to pasture.
The Tao does not console me.
I was given the Way
in the milk of childhood.
Breathing it waking and sleeping.
But now there is no amazing smell
of sperm on my thighs,
no spreading it on my stomach
to show pleasure.
I will never give up longing.
I will let my hair stay long.
The rain proclaims these trees,
the trees tell of the sun.
Let birds, let birds.
Let leaf be passion.
Let jaw, let teeth, let tongue be
between us. Let joy.
Let entering. Let rage and calm join.
Let quail come.
Let winter impress you. Let spring.
Allow the ocean to wake in you.
Let the mare in the field
in the summer morning mist
make you whinny. Make you come
to the fence and whinny. Let birds.




We Manage Most When We Manage Small
 
 
What things are steadfast? Not the birds.
Not the bride and groom who hurry
in their brevity to reach one another.
The stars do not blow away as we do.
The heavenly things ignite and freeze.
But not as my hair falls before you.
Fragile and momentary, we continue.
Fearing madness in all things huge
and their requiring. Managing as thin light
on water. Managing only greetings
and farewells. We love a little, as the mice
huddle, as the goat leans against my hand.
As the lovers quickening, riding time.
Making safety in the moment. This touching
home goes far. This fishing in the air.





Elegance
 

All that is uncared for.
Left alone in the stillness
in that pure silence married
to the stillness of nature.
A door off its hinges,
shade and shadows in an empty room.
Leaks for light. Raw where
the tin roof rusted through.
The rustle of weeds in their
different kinds of air in the mornings,
year after year.
A pecan tree, and the house
made out of mud bricks. Accurate
and unexpected beauty, rattling
and singing. If not to the sun,
then to nothing and to no one.







Alone with the Goddess


The young men ride their horses fast
on the wet sand of Parangtritis.
Back and forth, with the water sliding
up to them and away.
This is the sea where the goddess lives,
angry, her lover taken away.
Don’t wear red, don’t wear green here,
the people say. Do not swim in the sea.
Give her an offering.
I give a coconut to protect
the man I love. The water pushes it back.
I wade out and throw it farther.
“The goddess does not accept your gift,”
an old woman says.
I say perhaps she likes me
and we are playing a game.
The old woman is silent,
the horses wear blinders of cloth,
the young men exalt in their bodies,
not seeing right or left, pretending
to be brave. Sliding on and off
their beautiful horses
on the wet beach at Parangtritis.






The Weight
 

Two horses were put together in the same paddock.
Night and day. In the night and in the day
wet from heat and the chill of the wind
on it. Muzzle to water, snorting, head swinging
and the taste of bay in the shadowed air.
The dignity of being. They slept that way,
knowing each other always.
Withers quivering for a moment,
fetlock and the proud rise at the base of the tail,
width of back. The volume of them, and each other’s weight.
Fences were nothing compared to that.
People were nothing. They slept standing,
their throats curved against the other’s rump.
They breathed against each other,
whinnied and stomped.
There are things they did that I do not know.
The privacy of them had a river in it.
Had our universe in it. And the way
its border looks back at us with its light.
This was finally their freedom.
The freedom an oak tree knows.
That is built at night by stars.





Night Music
 

She sits on the mountain that is her home
and the landscapes slide away. One goes down
and then up to the monastery. One drops away
to a winnowing ring and a farmhouse where a girl
and her mother are hanging the laundry.
There’s a tiny port in the distance where
the shore reaches the water. She is numb
and clear because of the grieving in that world.
She thinks of the bandits and soldiers who
return to the places they have destroyed.
Who plant trees and build walls and play music
in the village square evening after evening,
believing the mothers of the boys they killed
and the women they raped will eventually come
out of the white houses in their black dresses
to sit with their children and the old.
Will listen to the music with unreadable eyes.




The Wife
 

My husband sucks her tits.
He walks into the night, her Roma, his being alive.
Toward that outer love. I wait in the hotel
until four. I lurch from the bed
talking to myself, watch my face in the mirror.
I change my eyes, making them darker.
Take it easy, I say. It is a long time to wait in,
this order of reality. My presence stings.
I grow specific without consequence.

 

 


The Light Continues
 


Every evening, an hour before
the sun goes down, I walk toward
its light, wanting to be altered.
Always in quiet, the air still.
Walking up the straight empty road
and then back. When the sun
is gone, the light continues
high up in the sky for a while.
When I return, the moon is there.
Like a changing of the guard.
I don’t expect the light
to save me, but I do believe
in the ritual. I believe
I am being born a second time
in this very plain way.






Aphrodite and the Nature of Art
 

I want a net made of iron to hold
what I am. I love artifice.
Hephaestus made the net that hoisted up
his wife, Aphrodite, and her lover.
Caught them in their gleaming hardness,
all ecstasy and soft, most secret flesh.
Good, she thought, at the root of her being
as she locked her ankles around the gardenia
that she is. While the two men yelled
at each other, the women filed out of the room
full of chaos as well as shape. Their husbands
stood amazed at what they were seeing,
the wonderful fish-like economy of her lower back,
seeing the links pressed into her body's delight
and leaving the imprint rose-colored on her
pale flesh. Hair swelling through some of the gaps
as the crippled maker raised them like a masterpiece
higher in the half-light of the vast room.




As Is
 

Pay attention, talk to no one unless
you are buying food or borrowing a book.
Or asking for directions to the border,
or the canyon, or the river with a pool.
Always formal. Poor with poor.
It's not the same here. No Greek ruins.
No fragment with legs of walking horses
painted delicately on it. No part
of a lion on bits of a glazed vase.
Like a code to tell of how the world they knew
would be destroyed. Here there is no need.
The rabbit's groin is ripped open
on the road. When you find a bird's wing
there is a flattened small bird attached.
A ranch at evening, the sun leaving,
antelope standing and the other birds
flying. All of it meaning the same thing.
 




The Part Left Over
 

It’s as though I were an event
on this mountain, not merely the evidence.
Plainness and heat.
Bleached grass all the way
to the fig tree and the sea silent
far below. Sound of a lizard
disappearing into darkness
between rocks. Memories and the dream.
Insect, thorns, no shade, shards.
The face of a man on a broken vase
listening to someone on a missing fragment.
No language for the part of me
left over. A clay piece of just the hand
of a woman, two fingers touching
the front of her draped garment.
The special beauty of what’s absent.






Winning
 

There is having by having
and having by remembering.
All of it a glory, but what is past
is the treasure. What remains.
What is worn is what has lived.
Death is too familiar, even though
it adds weight. Passion adds size
but allows too much harm.
There is a poetry that asks for
this life of silence in midday.
A branch of geranium in a glass
that might root. Poems of time
now and time then, each
containing the other carefully.





Slow Dance by the Ocean
 

The days are hot and moist now. The doves say
true, true, true and fly lovely all the time
from and to the tree outside my window,
not quieted by the weather as the cats are.
The dogs bark only when there is a stranger.
The world moves, my Lord, and I stay still,
yielding as it passes through. I go down
the path to a bay that holds the ocean quiet,
a grassy place with oleander and broom.
When evening comes, things are clear delicately
until all is dark except the water, which is silver.
The sea takes me at night while I sleep.
During the day, memory is the pull of its huge
center. I have my dress to wash and lamps to clean
in the coming and going of time. I dance as slowly
as possible in the fields of barley and weeds.



The Letter
 
 
I’m not feeling strong yet, but I am taking
good care of myself. The weather is perfect.
I read and walk all day and then walk to the sea.
I expect to swim soon. For now I am content.
I am not sure what I hope for. I feel I am
doing my best. It reminds me of when I was
sixteen dreaming of Lorca, the gentle trees outside
and the creek. Perhaps poetry replaces something
in me that others receive more naturally.
Perhaps my happiness proves a weakness in my life.
Even my failures in poetry please me.
Time is very different here. It is very good
to be away from public ambition.
I sweep and wash, cook and shop.
Sometimes I go into town in the evening
and have pastry with custard. Sometimes I sit
at a table by the harbor and drink half a beer.











Looking For Each of Us
 

I open the box of my favorite postcards  
and turn them over looking for de Chirico  
because I remember seeing you standing  
facing a wall no wider than a column where  
to your left was a hall going straight back
into darkness, the floor a ramp sloping down  
to where you stood alone and where the room  
opened out on your right to an auditorium  
full of people who had just heard you read  
and were now listening to the other poet.  
I was looking for the de Chirico because of  
the places, the empty places. The word  
“boulevard” came to mind. Standing on the side  
of the fountains in Paris where the water  
blew onto me when I was fifteen. It was night.  
It was dark then too and I was alone.  
Why didn’t you find me? Why didn’t  
somebody find me all those years? The form  
of love was purity. An art. An architecture.  
Maybe a train. Maybe the shadow of a statue  
and the statue with its front turned away  
from me. Maybe one young girl playing alone,  
hearing even small sounds ring off cobblestones  
and the stone walls. I turn the cards looking  
for the one and come to Giacometti’s eyes  
full of caring and something remote.
His eyes are loving and empty, but not with  
nothingness, not for the usual reasons, but because  
he is working. The Rothko Chapel empty. A cheap  
statue of Sappho in the modern city of Mytilene  
and ancient sunlight. David Park’s four men  
with smudges for mouths, backed by water,  
each held still by the impossibility of what  
art can accomplish. A broken river god,
only the body. A girl playing with her rabbit in bed.  
The postcard of a summer lightning storm over Iowa.
 





Goethe’s Death Mask

  
The face is quite smooth
everywhere except the eyes,
which are bulges
like ant hills someone tried to draw
eyes on. It is normal of course,                                              
that the mouth is shut
like a perfect sentence.
But there is nothing of Italy
or the rooms. As though it were
all a lie. As if he had not fed there                  
at all. I suppose there was never a choice.
If the happiness lasts,
it is the smoothness. The part
 
we do not notice. The language he made
was from the bruises. What lasted
are the eyes. Something ugly
and eaten into. What a mess his eyes are.  









The Woman Who Looks For Her Lost Sister She Says
 

She walks all the time in the Heart Ward.
She makes no sound. She is always alone.
If she is looking in the toilet stall and you come in
she leaves. She calls you Dear.
I was thinking of giving her my flowers.
Just now she came over and said,
‘You don’t have to be writing all the time Dear.’
I said, ‘Do you have any flowers?’
She said, ‘No Dear.’
I said, ‘Do you want any flowers?’
She said, ‘No, no flowers, Dear.’
I said, ‘Don’t you want any flowers at all?’
‘No,’ she said, ‘it’s too late for flowers Dear.’




At the Shore
 
 
Naked women are being dragged
down the sandstone shelving
on their backs, very slowly.
 
With ropes tied to each foot separately
so the legs close and spread open
as they are moved.
When they cry out or shout down
at the men sitting in the lifeguard chairs
looking at them through the gun sights,
the sounds, no matter how angry or foul,
curve and billow like a wave: coming
to the men on a soft wind
caressingly, like sirens singing.





 

The Ninth Dawn
 

It is not for nothing we notice a wider theme
in Virgil’s Georgics when he speaks about
the passion of Orpheus and Euridice. The gods
want the honey in the hive, are willing to have
the lovers destroyed. There is a grand design
pulsing around their perishing. A great sound
in which we can barely hear the lovers crying
each other’s name. It doesn’t matter that Procne’s
bloodstained hands left marks on her breasts.
Virgil writes of important troubles: a country
at war, droughts and plagues, suffering and wrongs.
But the gods are interested in the honey, their minds
filled with the smell of burning thyme used
to fumigate the hives. I am haunted by Euridice
who merely went too far into the woods and after
lived with the darkness around her forever.
I think of her loss and crying out as I listen
day and night to the man upstairs whose cries
of pain are like a wounded animal unable to do
anything by suffer. The gods instruct us to cut
the throats of eight beasts, throw in poppies,
kill the jet-black ewe in the beautiful Italian
light so the bees, who have been the real business
all along, will swarm out again under the pliant boughs.



The Poet Goes About Her Business
 

for Michele (1966-1972)
 

Michele has become another dead little girl. An easy poem.
Instant Praxitelean. Instant seventy-five year old photograph
of my grandmother when she was a young woman with shadows
I imagine were blue around her eyes. The beauty of it.
Such guarded sweetness. What a greed of bruised gardenias.
Oh Christ, whose name rips silk, I have seen raw cypresses
so dark the mind comes to them without color.
Dark on the Greek hillside. Dark, volcanic, dry and stone.
Where the oldest women of the world are standing dressed in black
up in the branches of fig trees in the gorge
knocking with as much quickness as their weakness will allow.
Weakness which my heart must not confuse with tenderness.
And on the other side of the island a woman
walks up the path with a burden of leaves on her head,
guiding the goats with sounds she makes up,
and then makes up again. The other darkness is easy:
the men in the dreams who come in together to me with knives.
There are so many traps, and many look courageous.
The body goes into such raptures of obedience.
But the huge stones on the desert resemble
nobody’s mother. I remember the snake.
After its skin had been cut away, and it was dropped
it started to move across the clearing.
Making its beautiful waving motion.
It was all meat and bone. Pretty soon it was covered with dust.
It seemed to know exactly where it wanted to go.
Toward any dark trees.

 



Whole and Without Blessing
 

What is beautiful alters, has undertow.
Otherwise I have no tactics to begin with.
Femininity is a sickness. I open my eyes
out of this fever and see the meaning
of my life clearly. A thing like a hill.
I proclaim myself whole and without blessing,
or need to be blessed. I belong to no one. I do not move.
Am not required to move. I lie naked on a sheet.
and the indifferent sun warms me.
I was bred for slaughter, like the other
animals. To suffer exactly at the center,
where there are no clues except pleasure.




 

Plums Failing Well
 


So what if plums fall
out of the tree, to lie
squashed and decomposing
on the earth? So what if
the only attention they receive
is from the ants and birds
who find something in them
to feed from still,
all spayed and color changed?
If they could breathe,
do you think they would say
more than so what?
This is good, to live
to the end as something
to get taken. What was
the ripeness for anyhow?
Why should chromosomes blink
and twitch inside the seed,
the pit at the middle, the vast
earth-shaped center of all
of this? So what if we lie
here or there as pith
in the cold night where the owl
hoots at the stirring that will
compute into the dark color
of that calling and the ground
we leak into,
small piece by small piece.




Official Love Story
 


There is a painting by Lucas Cranach
of a thing pink and white and motionless.
Nymph of the Spring. A young woman
stretched out naked against
her red robes which are bundled
behind her head and arm, casually,
to resemble an open rose.
A pair of plump quail in the foreground
echoing her breasts and belly.
A sacred pool with water spilling down
into it from a small cave darkened
like her mystery. She considers
with her young, elegant mind
the sound of the water on water.
Always smiling,
her eyes looking down.
Probably there is the sound of horns.
Everything in the best
German tradition.
The cream of her being.
The world slow with desire.
Passion announced by the shadows
everywhere in the picture.
Soon a perfect prince will come
with shining arms and black hair,
and oriental eyes. He will beg her
for the flower of her body.
She will consider it with her neat mind
which smells of lemon,
the way roses smell. Everybody will clap,
wanting the world to be made
out of passion and grace.
The voices of children will sing sweetly
 
of Christ in his loss and fear,
sing of the birth after,
sing of the Mystery to come.

 








The Beckett Kit
 

I finally found a way of using the tree.
If the man is lying down with the sheep
while the dog stands, then the wooden tree
can also stand, in the back, next to the dog.
 
They show their widest parts
(the dog sideways, the tree frontal)
so that being next to each other
they function as a landscape.
 
I tried for nearly two months to use the tree.
I tried using it by putting the man,
standing, of course, very far from the sheep
but in more or less the same plane.
At one point I had the man almost off the table
and still couldn’t get the trees to work.
It was only just now I thought of a way.
 
I dropped the wooden sheep from a few inches
above the table so they wouldn’t bounce.
Some are on their backs but they serve
the same as the ones standing.
What I can’t get over is their coming right
inadvertently when I’d be content with any solution.
 
Ah, world, I love you with all my heart.
Outside the open window, down the street near the Hudson,
I can hear a policeman talking to another
through the car radio. It’s eleven stories down
so it must be pretty loud.
The sheep, the tree, the dog, and the man
are perfectly at peace. And my peace is at peace.
Time and earth lie down wonderfully together.
 
The blacks probably do rape the whites in jail
as Bill said in the coffee shop watching the game
between Oakland and Cincinnati. And no doubt
Karl was right that we should have volunteered
as victims under the bombing of Hanoi.
 
A guy said to Mishkin, “If you’ve seen all that,
how can you go on saying you’re happy?”






------------------------------------------------------------------------








More information about Linda Gregg on this blog:   

Deep Weavers Faith. June 2019. 





This past Super Moon Vernal Equinox, America lost one of its greatest poets. Linda Alouise Gregg was born on September 9, 1942, in Suffern, NY, with her twin sister, Louise Belinda Gregg. They subsequently grew up on the west coast in Marin County, riding horses in a camp their father ran, running with deer on hills that rolled from Forest Knolls all the way down to Point Reyes. Such paradisiacal landscapes figure prominently throughout Linda’s body of work.
 
When Linda’s debut, Too Bright To See, was published by Graywolf Press in 1981, it took contemporary American poetry by storm. Like a fully-formed Athena birthed out of Zeus’s head, it was one of the most talked about books of the year. Of course there were premonitions, prior rumblings. Michael Cuddihy had featured a dozen of Linda’s poems in a special issue of Ironwood with encomiums by Gerald Stern, Frederick Turner, and Tess Gallagher, accompanied by Betty Sheedy’s author photo of Linda crouched in a rural doorway, her hair lit up like a Lilith. Or a lioness.
 
Linda’s passionate mix of angst and grace in her poems was equally informed by classical idylls and mythical betrayals. As a teenager, Linda found refuge on a boat with an artist named Varda after being kicked off her father’s land. She eventually found her way to San Francisco State University, the Haight-Ashbury in high hippie 1960s swing, Janis Joplin packing venues. The woods, the weed, the West. North Beach and City Lights Books. Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl.” All of this helped shape what she was to become.
 
Perhaps most fateful was the day Linda found herself sitting in the back of Jack Gilbert’s class for the first time, literally fainting upon meeting the poet. Their romance (some would call it an unofficial marriage) lasted eight years and turned into a lifelong friendship between poetic equals. Linda was a poet in her own right even before meeting Jack. At 16 years of age, she wrote “The Grub” and showed it to her sister Louise, asking her excitedly “Is this a poem?!,” a poem later published in her debut without revision. At SFSU, Linda wrote her master’s thesis on Pound, Beckett, and Catullus. So much for the lightweight stuff.
 
Linda and Jack lived and travelled all over Greece back in the day when it cost practically nothing to do so, and after years, they ended up in Copenhagen where Linda studied dance while Jack continued to write (and philander). The moment came when Linda threw off her ring and came back to the States. Much of her first book documents this period of her life.
 
Original printings of her second book Alma are scarce. Jonathan Galassi accepted the book at Random House before he was stolen away by FSG, and sadly, the book was recalled and shredded after only being in print for six months due to poor sales (those who remained behind at Random House didn’t even know the title was a book of poetry!). Linda decided to stick with Graywolf Press for the rest of her publishing career.
 
I met Linda in the summer of 1990 at the Aspen Writers Conference. I chose to work with Charles Simic so I could be free to befriend/stalk her! Earlier that year, Gordon Lish had asked me, “Who is the greatest poet in America?” and I said, “Linda Gregg!” “And who is the greatest teacher of poetry in America?” And I said, “Charles Simic!” Gordon said, “You must find them both!” What were the odds that both would be teaching in Aspen, along with Carolyn Forché completing that trifecta?
 
By then, Linda had completed her third manuscript, The Sacraments of Desire. By then, she had started an affair with the Great Love of Her Life. She paid the price, sacrificing her marriage, uprooting her life from Western Massachusetts and taking up residence in Chicago, much of this documented in her fourth book, Chosen by the Lion, a lyrical tour de force. During this time, we spoke almost daily on the phone for hours on end in the days before unlimited calling plans or the internet. My monthly MCI bills ran upwards of $400. Linda barely survived writing that book as her romance failed.
 
Linda once told me how she gave a reading with Louise Glück where Stanley Kunitz had introduced them. He apparently remarked how powerful and dark both poets were, then said Louise’s poems were “haunted like cemeteries” whereas Linda’s poems were “haunted like cemeteries . . . that were flowering.” Impossible to fact check but it rings true.
 
Both Linda and Jack never sought or accepted permanent full-time employment anywhere. It was too bourgeois. They preferred to live off next to nothing and retain their freedom as artists in a culture where Time = Money and the less money you need, the more time you have to read and write and live. She returned to her beloved Greece many times, also to war-torn Nicaragua, Indonesia too. In the time I knew Linda, the part-time teaching gigs and literary awards were essential for her survival. It’s true she finally bought her own place in Marfa, TX to fix up, but it was for a whopping $800. Some of those arid stripped-down desert landscapes inform both Things and Flesh as well as In the Middle Distance. You can’t help but feel the abandonment and austerity in those books mixed with hard-won clarity, even blessing.
 
As a teacher, Linda remains a legend. At the Iowa Writers’ Workshop in the 1980s, Christopher Davis remembers that Linda’s opening workshop salvo was: “Sometimes I lay my body down on a marble slab . . . and become poetry.” Student jaws dropped. It was WTF in the days before texting or emojis. Linda has nurtured subsequent generations of poets, including a Columbia cohort who have made their names (Tracy K. Smith, Tina Chang, David Semanki and Boni Joi, to name just a few). To sit in a workshop with LG was not only to get meticulous and demanding line edits but equally challenging life lessons. When once asked to write a letter of recommendation, Linda responded, “When do you need that by, summer? Who knows where I’ll be by then, perhaps floating down the Nile.” She accepted Rilke’s injunction to “change your life” and expected nothing less of her acolytes.
 
A committed smoker and drinker, Linda’s health declined in the last decade of her life, most of it spent in New York City in a rent-controlled apartment she held onto for almost four decades. She hosted many informal gatherings in her kitchen, most often one-on-one, even while her public appearances grew fewer and fewer, her poems trickling to a halt, especially after the death of her beloved Jack whom she had devotedly cared for in his decline and for whom she tirelessly served as his literary executor after his death, no small task. Cancer returned this past year. In great pain, she was brought to Beth Israel Hospital where she finally succumbed just eight blocks from her home on St. Marks in the East Village. The neighborhood will never be the same.
 
‘Is This a Poem?!’ Remembering Linda Gregg.  Timothy Liu on a Brilliant Poet, and Wonderful Teacher. By Timothy Liu. LitHub, March 25, 2019. 





















21/09/2022

Elizabeth Spires : 29 Poems

 




Picture of a soul

 
A shirt I was born in.
I wear it. Or it wears me.
White, of course.
 
A loose fit.
Growing as I grow
but slowly going dull.
 
It must be washed
once, twice, three times,
then hung to dry.
 
There, can you see it?
Hanging high
on the hill.
 
Waving its arms
in the wind. Beckoning.
Sun shining through.








A Memory of the Future

 
I will say tree, not pine tree.
I will say flower, not forsythia.
I will see birds, many birds,
flying in four directions.
 
Then rock and cloud will be
lost. Spring will be lost.
And most terribly,
your name will be lost.
 
I will revel in a world
no longer particular.
A world made vague,
as if by fog. But not fog.
 
Vaguely aware,
I will wander at will.
I will wade deeper
into wide water.
 
You’ll see me, there,
out by the horizon,
an old gray thing
who finally knows
 
gray is the most beautiful color.






Small Prayer


If my heart were scoured,
             if my soul were remade
into a new and shining garment,
             then would I have to die?
 
Lord, if perfection is death,
             let me stay here
a little while longer,
            spotted and stained.
 




Ghazals

 
My name in the black air, called out in the early morning.
A premonition dreamed: waking, I beheld a future of mourning.
 
Our partings were rehearsals for the final scene: you and I
in a desert, saying goodbye on a white September morning.
 
The call came. West, I flew west again. Impossible, but the sun
didn't move. I stepped off the plane and it was still morning.
 
I've always worn black. Now a blank whiteness outlines
everything. What shall I put on this loneliest of mornings?
 
You've left an envelope. Inside, your black pearl earrings
and a note: Your grandmother's. Good. In ink the color of mourning.
 
I remember the songs you used to sing. Blue morning glories on the vine.
An owl in the tree of heaven. All of my childhood's sacred mornings.
 
Your mother before you. Her mother before her. I, before my daughter.
It's simple, I hear you explain. We are all daughters in mourning.
 
I was your namesake, a firstborn Elizabeth entering
the world on a May morning. I cannot go back to that morning.




On Upnor Road


Set back from the street behind a stand of trees,
a shuttered house unnoticed by casual passers-by,
     where I see you standing in the middle of your life,
poised to enter a summer evening where there will be
     drinks and then a meal on an old stone terrace,
and it will seem, as the glass of wine is lifted to your lips,
     that no one you know will ever have to die.
All this, of course, has already happened, happened
     many times, never to happen again. In that faraway dark,
two voices softly braid themselves into one murmuring
     conversation, but words spoken so long ago
want to be private. I would not imagine it otherwise.
     Unasked, I have entered a memory I was never part of,
and come face to face with love's leisurely vanished pace.
     Everything's changed. The new owner's cut down trees,
cleared decades of overgrowth to let the light in, and anyone
     passing right now will only see what the too-bright
present wants them to see: a gracious forthright house,
     empty of meaning, sitting overexposed in spring sunlight.




Riddle

 
Puffed like an adder.
Deflated like a balloon.
Tiny or huge, you are
never the right size.
 
A little man or woman,
you strut, you speak,
you want. You
have delusions.
 
O little one,
look at yourself,
posturing and ridiculous.
Go now, pleasE GO.
 
But no, without you,
what would I be?
That is the question
I cannot answer
 
until I am changed into
particle or star, and you,
you drift away as if you
had never been there at all.

 








Pome


From flowering gnarled trees
they come, weighing down
the branches, dropping
with a soft sound onto
the loamy ground. Falling
and fallen. That’s a pome.
 
 
Common as an apple. Or
more rare. A quince or pear.
A knife paring away soft skin
exposes tart sweet flesh.
And deeper in, five seeds in a core
are there to make more pomes.
 
 
Look how it fits in my hand.
What to do? What to do?
I could give it to you.
Or leave it on the table
with a note both true and untrue:
Ceci n’est pas un poème.
 
 
I could paint it as a still life,
a small window of light
in the top right corner
(only a dab of the whitest white),
a place to peer in and watch it
change and darken as pomes will do.
 
 
O I remember days….
Climbing the branches of a tree
ripe and heavy with pomes.
Taking whatever I wanted.
There were always enough then.
Always enough.






“In Heaven It Is Always Autumn”
                      John Donne
 

In heaven it is always autumn. The leaves are always near
to falling there but never fall, and pairs of souls out walking
heaven's paths no longer feel the weight of years upon them.
Safe in heaven's calm, they take each other's arm,
the light shining through them, all joy and terror gone.
But we are far from heaven here, in a garden ragged and unkept
as Eden would be with the walls knocked down, the paths littered
with the unswept leaves of many years, bright keepsakes
for children of the Fall. The light is gold, the sun pulling
the long shadow soul out of each thing, disclosing an outcome.
The last roses of the year nod their frail heads,
like listeners listening to all that's said, to ask,
What brought us here? What seed? What rain? What light?
What forced us upward through dark earth? What made us bloom?
What wind shall take us soon, sweeping the garden bare?
Their voiceless voices hang there, as ours might,
if we were roses, too. Their beds are blanketed with leaves,
tended by an absent gardener whose life is elsewhere.
It is the last of many last days. Is it enough?
To rest in this moment? To turn our faces to the sun?
To watch the lineaments of a world passing?
To feel the metal of a black iron chair, cool and eternal,
press against our skin? To apprehend a chill as clouds
pass overhead, turning us to shivering shade and shadow?
And then to be restored, small miracle, the sun
    shining brightly
as before? We go on, you leading the way, a figure
leaning on a cane that leaves its mark on the earth.
My friend, you have led me farther than I have ever been.
To a garden in autumn. To a heaven of impermanence
where the final falling off is slow, a slow and radiant happening.
The light is gold. And while we're here, I think it must
    be heaven.






The Playground

 
Although
the moon is rising and the doors of the house
are locked against the darkness,
and pockets of leaves spin to no purpose
in the whirlwind, I get up
and dress myself, drawn by the shouts
of the children on the playground
playing tug-of-war and crack-the-whip,
the lines alive, taut,
as the smaller ones spin away, one by one,
into dark corners where nothing can save them,
and I join the game without a word to anyone,
caught in a line
snaking backward and forward
until it joins, like time, at either end and
mends invisibly,
the face of the child on either side of me
pale as a star
as each holds my hand tightly,
begging to enter the world and live a little while,
my body the instrument of passage.
 
 
We play
as the clock strikes
one, then two, then three,
encircled by light, outside the circle shadow,
and they make all the rules,
and I obey,
no thought to the waning moon
that turns the city grey, the world inverted
like a dream I’ll wake alone from in the morning,
the bed’s cold sheets
thrown off like so many obligations,
as they pull me toward them and I pull away,
the future bearing down so quickly upon us.

 




Mutoscope
 
 
Swirl and smash of waves against the legs
and crossgirders of the pier, I have come to Brighton,
come as the fathers of our fathers came,
to see the past’s Peep Show.
On two good legs, on one, they came,
veterans and stay-at-homes of the Great War,
all casualties, to stroll the West Pier’s promenade,
past bands, flags, and minstrel shows,
past Gladys Pawsey in a high-necked bathing costume
riding her bicycle off the high board,
past Hokey-Pokey and Electric Shocker,
to the old Penny Palace, pennies burning hotly
in their hands, the worn watery profile
of Queen Victoria looking away from it all.
I bend to the mutoscope’s lit window
to see “What the Butler Saw”: a woman artlessly
taking off her clothes in a jerky striptease
I can slow down or speed up
by turning the handle of the mutoscope.
Easily I raise her from darkness—
the eye eternally aroused by what it can’t touch—
to watch her brief repeating performance
that counts for so little. Or so much.
I can’t be sure which.
Abruptly, THE END shuts down the image, but her story
continues as she reverses time’s tawdry sequence
to dress and quickly disappear
down a maze of narrow streets and alleys
filled with the ghostly bodies and bodiless ghosts
of causality, the unredeemed and never-to-be-born
bearing her along to a flight
of shabby stairs, a rented room where she is free
as anyone to dream her dreams and smoke a cigarette,
smoke from the lit tip spiraling
in patternless patterns toward the room’s bare light bulb,
the light I see her by harsh, violently
unforgiving, as she makes tomorrow into a question
of either/or: to leave this room, this vacancy
forever, or go on exactly as she has before.
Old ghost, your history is nameless and sexual,
you are your own enigma, victim
or heroine of an act of repetition that, once chosen,
will choose you for a lifetime.
I peer into the tunneled past,
so small, so faraway and fragmentary,
and yet, not unconnected to what I am now.
Dilapidation upon dilapidation, Brighton
is crumbling, fading to sepia tones,
as your unfunny burlesque continues past
your life, perhaps past mine,
the past preserved and persevering,
the sentimental past.





Truro


I found a white stone on the beach
inlaid with a blue-green road I could not follow.
All night I'd slept in fits and starts,
my only memory the in-out, in-out, of the tide.
And then morning. And then a walk,
the white stone beckoning, glinting in the sun.
I felt its calm power as I held it
and wished a wish I cannot tell.
It fit in my hand like a hand gently
holding my hand through a sleepless night.
A stone, so like, so unlike,
all the others it could only be mine.
 
The wordless white stone of my life!

 






My Daughter
 
     After a theme by Carlos Drummond de Andrade
 

Late in the afternoon, she sits with me,
trapped in the corner’s shadows,
a thought that comes and goes,
dark hair unlike my own, dark eyes
that mourn the absent love between us,
her life a task of waiting she did not choose.
The light shines through her body,
her eyes fill with tears, but still she says
nothing, no, nothing at all. She waits
until the sun disappears, and then she goes,
taking my name with her, leaving
a silent space that words can never fill,
my daughter, the one I never had, who calls
to me so softly that nobody hears.



Blue Nude


It is not true
what they say about the body:
that it must be loved, that it cannot
sleep through its nights alone
without injury.
 
Look at me. Look
at the way the artist lies
about his loneliness, painting a room
where walls, floor, and ceiling
converge on a door too small
 
for me to leave or enter.
Leaving my face featureless as snow,
my body bruised like the pears
he buys only to paint.
They should have been eaten weeks ago.
 
Swollen and isolate, they sit
on a bone-white plate, their shadows
distortions of their true shape,
ellipses of blue and darker
blue the eye falls into.
 
I know
how the snow fell for days
outside his studio, how he painted
in his coat and gloves,
rising each morning
 
to break the ice
in the washbowl and light
the stove, the heart of the flame
blue against his chest.
The heart, he thinks, the heart
 
is blue and solitary.
It knows what it knows.
And so he paints a room
with one of everything:
one bed with one pillow,
one window overlooking
shadowed figures walking
two by two, one book whose pages
turn as days do, each page only
a part of the larger story.





Profil Perdu


In 1949, in Menton, after long love-making
one afternoon, they drew each other:
 
each kneeling, in turn, by the bed
as the other slept or drifted,
 
the pen tracing on paper what
the body knew, the strangely lovely
 
angle of her face thrown back on a hill
of white pillows, and he, in his turn,
 
wanting if he wants anything never
to leave this room. Each has fallen
 
softly back into the body as one
might fall into a dream of high blue
 
meadows in midsummer, midsummer time
leaving them another hour, two,
 
before they must make their way,
shivering, down the dew-stained mountain.
 
O let us gently close the door
on love’s impromptu sketch and leave
 
them as we would be left, here
among the long shadows of a room
 
we have entered without reflection,
all grief or grievance put aside
 
to draw the body’s burning
outline on white sheets, white paper.
 
Their life, and ours, the evidence.





You have flown to the dangerous country


 
You have flown to the dangerous country,
how easily you have left this life behind,
this street, this quiet city street,
where letters arrive each day dependably,
where trees make a canopy in summer,
and winter, it is winter now, possesses a cold clarity.
 
But in the place where you are there is heat,
there is hunger, and the trees have been cut down,
and dogs, there must be dogs, slink out of the night’s
blackness, teeth bared, and the sound of drumming penetrates
your sleep even when there are no drums. And slowly,
you begin to forget the words we are used to saying here,
they speak another language there, a language that has no place
for words like snow and safety, a language I will never know
because I have never been to the dangerous country,
                                                    and I do not think I will go.
 
I think of a tear in a curtain, a jagged man-high tear,
that you step through easily, without a glance backward,
because you are drawn to the dangerous country,
to the need and the want and the hunger,
and to something more that I cannot name.
I feel such a distance, such an unreality,
when I think of you in the dangerous country,
with the heat and the dust and the dogs,
the drums and the knives, the nightmares and the screams.
 
But I tell myself there must be birds and flowers,
rare flame-colored exotica surrounding tiny pastel houses
that a child might draw, there must be children flying kites,
running along a curving shore where watercolor waves
wash up in shades of ultramarine, there must be
painters painting paintings of it all, and laughter
and singing, because people laugh and sing everywhere,
                                                    O tell me that they sing.
 
Do the people there, do they ever ask you
what it is you mean by winter and by snow,
by safety and by silence? Do you try to explain?
And then I begin to wonder what it is to be safe,
do I feel safe here, and is there safety anywhere,
as I move through the rooms of this house, drawing the curtains,
the street so quiet now, and twilight coming on.
 


Poet-in-residence Elizabeth Spires reads her poem "The Cabin". Santa Catalina School, January 25, 2013. 





The Cabin

 
The two-lane highway rushes up and down,
a white line down its middle leading it on.
It curves the way the stream beside it curves,
carved out by glaciers in a time when the world was ice.
Past time is with you always, always here.
It's held in gorge and meadow, in grey-green moss,
in lichens, in boulderspill from old stone walls.
So turn at the wayside onto an unmarked road
that leads a mile uphill, then dwindles to a grassy path
through August woods, dim as a church and cool.
A fallen birch will block your path. You'll hear
him saying clearly (you who imagine such things):
You can't farther! Can't go in my woods!
Ignore the warning and press on to find his cabin
in a clearing, its door locked to the world.
With the right key the door will open to you,
you who are neither first nor last to come here,
why have you come? To crank the old black phone
in the kitchen, hoping a voice at the end of the line
might answer? To idly turn the pencil sharpener,
the kind he used in a schoolroom when he was master,
its silver blade sharpening the point of all he said?
Here, in the bare front room, a lapboard his lap,
he wrote about the weather outside and in his head.
Nothing betrays him except, half-hidden on the mantle,
a chipped toy goblet, rose-red when the light shines on it,
something a child might play with, a child long gone.
Now take down the book of letters from the shelf that opens
on its own to words he wrote after a daughter's death:
We thought to move heaven and earth--heaven with prayers
and earth with money. We moved nothing. And here we are,
Cadmus and Harmonia, not yet placed safely in changed forms.
Somewhere beyond these rooms, these trees, this path,
he's laughing his dark laugh, changed the way the wood
in the woodpile changes, softening over years so slowly
the eye can't see, unless the eye has all eternity.
When you leave, leave all as it was--the black phone
on the hook, the heavy book back on the shelf--
for the next one who comes as curiously as you did.
Outside, linger for a moment. Sit on the old stone slab
he raised up off the ground and made into a bench
(the kind that, lettered, might mark a grave).
Stare at the mountain that was his constant companion.
It looks at you without emotion, it does not rage or love,
as he did, and yet its permanence consoles. The wind
is picking up, moving the trees to softly whisper, Ssshhh!
A spider on your shoe is listen to all you say.


 

Like Water
 
 
It hadn’t been three months since he had died
when we sat together in your living room,
a green world going on outside, the June wind
blowing hot and hard, bending each leaf and branch,
while inside all was still: a still interior where
three women sat in shadow stirring summer drinks,
the room the same as it had always been,
 
but changed, his absence palpable. You said,
“I thought I’d gradually miss him less, the way
a craving for a cigarette lessens a little after weeks
of going without. It’s not like that.” You paused,
drawing in a breath. “It’s like a thirst that deepens
as each day passes. Like water,” you finally said.
“I want him back the way I want a drink of water.”
 


February origami
 


A room, empty and cold.
A daytime moon, cheek
scraped off, hanging by a thread,
looking in at what you do.
You sit on the floor, cross-legged,
folding and refolding
a square of paper, a letter,
white writing like swirling snow
on a scroll. As a child,
didn’t you sit by the window
coaxing raucous paper cranes—
red, green, and yellow—
to fly into a sky of blue?
Now what could you say or do
to make a piece of paper fly away?
You watch your hands,
two birds, shape paper into
a white, diminishing thing.
Here is my heart, you write,
quill sipping ink from a bowl.
Here is my heart.
Take it if you have to.
Two wings beat in your hand.
The injured moon, sheer
as rice paper, slips away.
It is a white, white day.




 
Letter in July


My life slows and deepens.
I am thirty-eight, neither here nor there.
It is a morning in July, hot and clear.
Out in the field, a bird repeats its quaternary call,
four notes insisting, I’m here, I’m here.
The field is unmowed, summer’s wreckage
everywhere.
Even this early, all is expectancy.
 
It is as if I float on a still pond,
drowsing in the bottom of a rowboat,
curled like a leaf into myself.
The water laps at its old wooden sides
as the sun beats down on my body,
a wand, an enchantment, shaping it
into something languid and new.
 
A year ago, two, I dreamed I held
a mirror to your unborn face and saw you,
in the warped watery glass, not as a child
but as you will be twenty years from now.
I woke, a light breeze lifting the curtain,
as if touched by a ghost’s thin hand,
light filling the room, coming from nowhere.
 
I know the time, the place of our meeting.
It will be January, the coldest night
of the year. You will be carrying a lantern
as you enter the world crying,
and I cry to hear you cry.
A moment that, even now,
I carry in my body.







Glass-Bottom Boat

 Key West

 
In the Cubano diner, tiny cups
of black, black coffee, hot and sweet,
and chipped blue china plates
of black beans and yellowtail,
fished by the fishermen
as the sun came up this morning.
 
Yesterday out on the reef,
we looked through the floor of the boat,
through layers of clear, clean water—
windows looking into other windows—
down to the floor of the world,
shallow, pliant, and shifting.
There, schools of yellowtail
swam through the living coral,
bright as stained glass,
cast into underwater constellations
both strange and familiar:
a flower, a brain, a cathedral.
Suddenly a shadow parted the school—
as if a cloud had just blotted the sun—
a barracuda swerving as they swerved,
and nothing they could do.
After it fed, the two halves joined,
the missing ones unmourned,
all as it was before.
 
If I could live for a thousand years,
ten thousand, would ever I see
the great family of men, women, and children,
both preying and preyed-upon,
swimming as freely as the yellowtail?
Would that be heaven or hell?
Each naked human face a candle
joining other candles in a procession
spanning many centuries, entering
the cathedral of live stone
whose heavy doors are cast
with scenes from our own lives,
moving as moving pictures move,
until the reel runs out.
In that world-without-end hour,
will the future read us in relief,
blindly touching each raised
and burnished scene with fingertips,
the ejaculate word forming on their lips,
an O! and then again an O!
of terror and astonishment?
O how will they sing knowing what they know?
Streaming through time, they see
our approach, we are plotted
in space, our light outlives our lives
and sends a signal far into
the future: the past is alive!
Dead and dark for a long time,
we are as stars to them,
stars wishing to be wished on.

 



Wordling

 
In a world of souls I set out to find them.
They who first must find each other,
be each other’s fate.
There, on the open road,
I gazed into each traveller’s face.
Is it you? I would ask.
Are you the ones?
No, no, they said, or said nothing at all.
 
How many cottages did I pass,
each with a mother, a father,
a firstborn, newly swaddled, crying;
or sitting in its little chair,
dipping a fat wooden spoon
into a steaming bowl,
its mother singing it a foolish song,
One, one, a lily’s my care ….
 
Through seasons I searched,
through years I can’t remember,
reading the lichens and stones
as if one were marked
with my name, my face, my form.
By night and day I searched,
never sleeping, not wanting to fail,
not wanting to simply be a star.
 
Finally in a town like any other town,
in a house foursquare and shining,
its door wide open to the moon,
did I find them.
There, at the top of the winding stairs,
asleep in the big bed,
the sheets thrown off, curled
like question marks into each other’s arms.
 
Past memory, I beheld them,
naked, their bodies without flaw.
It is I, I whispered.
I, the nameless one.
And my parents, spent by the dream
of creation, slept on.





The unfeminine flower


Formally, shall she begin,
greeting her days with ceremony,
bowing to the sun and to the wind.
The air shall be a mirror
she shall not look in, her petals
peaked and stiff as a nun’s cowl.
She shall avert her face to the bee’s buzz.
Spiked, her stem shall pierce
the Gardener’s thick glove.
In consequence, she shall be passed over.
She shall lose the first flush.
 
Around her, the rank sweet odor
of the garden in midsummer.      And she, untouched.
Parched, she shall not drink,
shall not confess her need. Nor,
knowing her flaw, shall she ask for mercy.
As summer ends, so finally shall she.
Then shall a simple song be sung
by the low and the high choir,
by cricket and fieldmouse and owl,
whose words, if it had words, would be,
She is gone, the proud solitary one . . .
She: the unfeminine flower.








Bruise
 


All black, a hard dark
spot, it sits in the tree’s
bare arms. Caw! Caw!
it calls to no one.
Again, too rude: Caw!
The truth is out:
it eats dead things.
It knows that want
can make, unmake
a world as much as love,
love’s awful opposite.
And so, once more,
the terrible syllable: Caw!
And then it lifts
its wings and flies
into a world diffuse,
green, and blameless,
leaving a bright spot
of nothing where it sat.
One oily feather
in slow free fall,
a bruised blue-black
iridescence,
is all that’s left.
But still I hear it: Caw!
An ugly crow perched
in the charred chest
has left, knowing,
what does it know?
That the word
at the bottom of
the world is black.
I will not say it,
but pray that crow
not come back.

 

Black Fairy Tale
 
 
Who were you that day you left your parents
standing on the platform, waving black handkerchiefs
-How young they were then!-
and you waving back, you with money in your pocket and your
grin,
as the train began to move, first slowly, then slowly
speeding up, the whitewashed houses of that village
falling flatly back into the past
as you sped forward into a morning stilled by fog,
by enchantment, dreaming of a woman
bending over you, pouring milk into a glass,
whispering, Drink this, Drink this.
 
So many years have passed!
You wake to the noon sun burning a hard black outline
around the fallow fields, the shimmering trees and houses,
shadows doubled into themselves, hiding,
the train speeding faster, ever faster,
birds on the wires, black birds,
marking off milestones, chuckling to themselves.
Smiles, gestures, currency, the few words
your parents taught you, like love, farewell, and courage,
are useless now, you’re crossing unfamiliar borders
quickly, much too quickly, your death and birth connected,
as the crow flies, by a straight line on a map
although you never wanted, did you, a journey as simple as that.
 
 
For one-ten thousandth of a second
you stall at midpoint, caught between twin cities,
twin infinities, just long enough to glimpse
the past’s pale child beckoning from the black edge of the forest.
Return, you must return, by following the black fairy tale,
the one your parents kept from you,
locked in the black book in the back of the closet.
Bits of bread, fluttering rags snagged on hedges,
will show you the way if you look, if you look.
Who must you save? Shadows are showing themselves,
touching this thing and that with their shadowy spells,
a fat red sun is disappearing as you enter
the clearing where the empty cottage stands,
its door swinging on hinges that sing, What use, What use.
Nobody’s there, nobody that is
except a crow, hunched in a tree,
its feathers black as coal and shining, eyeballing you,
each eye as empty as the barrel of a gun,
making a click, click, click,
now that you’ve arrived.




The Bodies
 
 
Here, in the half-dark of the sauna,
                  the bodies of the women glisten ...
 
Naked, disproportionate, lush,
hung and burdened with flesh, they open slowly,
like orchids blooming out of season.
 
Sweat beads my forehead.
Heat rings my breasts, like circlets,
and I am my body, all shimmering flesh.
 
Secrets are whispered here. Stories told.
The bodies, alabaster, abalone,
relax, give up their pose, to ask,
How shall we be joined?
How shall we know each other?
By doors, by chains and linkages
through which we shall be
                        entered, touched, possessed.
 
I see them, row upon row, the rank and file
of generations moving without pause:
—the bodies of the young girls, the willows,
complete unto themselves, androgynous;
—the great bodies of the mothers,
circled by their little moons, adoring;
—the mothers of the mothers,
the old wise ones, ponderous and slow.
And in another room, not far from this one,
the restless bodies of men, searching
without knowing what it is they search for.
Body of the world! Body of flesh!
Leaving this room, I leave the orbit of women.
I dress and walk into the snowy night,
into the great body of the world,
cold, still, and expectant.
Bodying forth, I am taken by the dark.
 
What am I? Asked, shall I say:
       Struck by a spark, I quickened
      and was born to flashing
      days and nights, a small significance
      of one. I did not wish to change,
      but changed, feeling desire and fear
      and love, failing many times.
      My meaning made, I died,
      the windows darkening for the last time.
 
We move, we love, we cry out,
we hold or cannot hold to what we are
and finally wake to find ourselves
changed beyond all imagining.
Was it enough to have lived?
In that moment of still approach,
will it be given to us to know?









Angel

             
                Amiens Cathedral
 
O spirit embodied, but without
need of body, made without artifice
by Mind and worked in stone,
what was your Maker thinking of?
Your face smooth and untroubled
as a newborn’s, the brow cool
and the eyes blind, one finger
touching the air, most fair of elements.
All is appearance, you tell us,
wearing the weight of stone wings,
stone clothes, without complaining.
Perhaps you, too, once had a flaw-
a thought, no more than that,
less than angelic. In a second
of a second, you were restored
to innocence by a Maker omniscient
and kind. The thought was gone.
But you were some place other than
heaven, and changed to stone.

 



At the Bambi Motel
 

Walls the color of old plums, a “tapestry”
above the bed: 4 dogs playing cards,
smoking cigars. One cheats, aces tucked
in his vest, squints at the schnauzer’s
royal flush and sighs. A wall-size mirror
doubles the room, doubles the double bed
into something immense, a mattress
for a troupe of acrobats.
Where are we? How did we get here?
And most of all, where’s Bambi?
I wouldn’t, couldn’t have dreamed
up this place if I’d read true romance
magazines for a year. In room 8,
someone’s having a row with someone
else. Cow! he accuses her.
Pipsqueak! You call this a honeymoon!
she yells back. Fighting
must have a titillating effect.
Silence for a minute. The pop of a cork.
And then of all things, giggling!
I bet somebody’s made the front page
of The National Enquirer staying here.
What if our room’s broken into by mistake?
What if the guy next door is a senator,
the girl Miss Panty Hose of 1968?
I chain the door shut, tape the keyhole
under your doubting gaze.
Your eyes glaze over, you begin your
impersonation of a sex maniac
who can’t get his clothes undone.
Sin makes us blush like innocents
nevertheless …
 
 
                                               I fall asleep
dreaming of Bambi. There’s a forest fire!
I must get the dogs out! Intoxicated,
they dive out the window into a snowbank,
cards falling out of their clothes.
(Snow? An hour ago it was August!)
Room 8 lends the fire department champagne
to put out the flames. The senator’s
distressed-Miss Panty Hose is more
undressed than I am. She grabs him
by the nose, makes him say “cheese”
for the photos. Where will we stay now?
The dogs are grateful. One knows
a place down the road, Roxie’s.
“They treat you real good there,” he growls,
“pink lightbulbs and wait till you see
what’s on their walls …”




 
Boardwalk


 
Tonight
these messages
we pencil into picture postcards
to send to friends
who live inland, who never visit the ocean,
seem scrawls of omission: dolphins sighted
and lost … fishermen on the jetty in yellow raincoats …
the boardwalk’s arcade of lights …
We sleep in a rented house
that offers no protection against nightmare:
the black wave high as a house
rising against us, or fog
walling us in
until, like sleepwalkers,
we break the windows with our hands
and let the night rush in to fill each room’s emptiness.
 
An arcade of lights …
 
We can go to the shooting gallery,
a Wild West Saloon, and aim for the piano player
frozen over an upright
riddled with bullet holes. Hit the spittoon,
and his head spins round
his left foot taps out time
to a fragment of honky tonk played over and over.
We can ask Sister Lisa to advise, impersonating
lives we’ve studied on the boardwalk,
gestures of boredom and desire.
She’ll open our hands like old maps,
look into our palms and lie, pretending
we’ll have many children.
We can have our picture taken by a photographer
with a trunkful of costumes. He’ll pose us,
stone-sober, in front of painted backdrops
from plays and novels: a cherry orchard,
a train station, a fin de siècle drawing room.
His old-fashioned flash
blinding us, so that we stagger
back onto the boardwalk holding each other,
unsure which way to go.
On either side of us, more mirrors
and lights, more hours to kill
until the boardwalk closes at one or two.
 
 
Tomorrow
we’ll sleep till noon. Or maybe
I’ll wake early and quietly leave you to
walk the empty boardwalk, arms around myself,
reassured by the clarity of morning,
gulls scavenging, the smell of coffee
coming from the coffeeshop.
I’ll mail the stack of postcards
left on the nightstand, dating them
Yesterday, Today, or Tomorrow,
pencil two stick figures into your favorite view-
a curving panorama of the ocean
who wave and wave,
their backs to a breaking wave
held
in the split-second before it crashes around them,
the dull grey sheen of the sun
(unseen but felt) slanting even as it does now
on a jigsaw of boards and swollen pilings,
shops and tents and rides
closed tight, roped down,
covered over like expensive merchandise,
the ocean glittering as if
someone had been polishing it all night.
 



Death Dress
 

For A. S.


A midwife wore it.
Delivering a stillborn girl,
she wiped the death off her hands on the dress.
Wiped the death off, went to the next house
and delivered twin boys with black hair.
 
A witch wore it.
Stuffed mandrake and belladonna into the pockets.
At nights the dress flickered in the forest,
queen of the trees, a crazy apparition.
A black stone is her pillow.
 
A nun wore it.
Her skin turned transparent with fear and longing.
She stuck a crucifix through her heart.
A page in her Bible turned black.
 
A widow put it on.
She choked on lamentations,
shrank into a skeleton.
The dress continued to fit perfectly.
 
Your friend wore it.
Three times she tried to take it off.
The third time the buttons burnt her fingers.
She stuck her head in an oven.
Her head turned black.
 
You wore it.
You put it on your mannequin when you bathed.
You slept in it,
dreamt it was your invention.
It grew black roots into your brain.
 
You were not buried in it.
It is not a dress to be buried in.
You wore it, and now you give it to me.
Regal and elegant, I stand here stiffy in this black.
Unready, unwilling, I give it back.

 




More poems of Elizabeth Spires
 
New Criterion
 
Poetry Foundation 



About her poetry : 

Elizabeth Spires.  Poetry Foundation

A Meditation on Noticing in “A Memory of the Future”. By Ryan Asmussen. Chicago Review of Books, June 24, 2020.

Speaking with Elizabeth Spires about poetry, poets, and time travel. In advance of her talk at the Ivy Bookshop Friday, Writing Seminars alum discusses her newest poetry collection, 'A Memory of the Future'. By Bret McCabe. Hub John Hopkins University, September 4, 2018.

Q&A with local writer Elizabeth Spires on her poetry collection, ‘A Memory of the Future’, By Elizabeth Hazen. Baltimore Fishbowl, August 22, 2018.

Poet and Writer Elizabeth Spires to Keynote 50th Annual Sophie Kerr Prize at WC. The Chestertown Spy, May 1, 2017. 

Goucher College professor Elizabeth Spires speaks with poet and University of Maryland professor Michael Collier about her work, her family, and her poetic influences. She opens the program reading "The Papermaker," about working through a case of writer's block. The two writers discuss the influence of Emily Dickinson, Elizabeth Bishop, Sylvia Plath and Josephine Jacobsen on Spires' work. Spires reads "Riddle," about self-definition, "Ghazal," to discuss form, and ends with reading "In Heaven it is Always Autumn," about her friendship with poet Josephine Jacobsen. 

HoCoPoLitSo,  March 1, 2016.


Local Writer Spotlight: Poet Elizabeth Spires. By Caryn Coyle. CBS News Baltimore, November 28, 2011.

Elizabeth Spires on Josephine Jacobsen. Originally published in Crossroads, Spring 2004. Poetry Society of America